After Kids Moved Out
Budd and I had a wonderful time. We went to Hawaii three different times during that time. We went on a cruise and were planning another cruise when he got sick. We went up a lot to Washington while Darrell was married to Gail.
Grandpa was the second counselor to Joseph Kjar and Stan Smoot was the other counselor. Then they divided the stake and Stan Smoot was made the President and they put Bob Trump in as second counselor. Our stake was from Kaysville to Bountiful. When I was in the stake I was working with ladies clear up in Kaysville and it was fun, I really enjoyed it. This was when they were making stakes in Bountiful and Centerville. So when they divided everything again, Stan Smoot stayed President and they made Bob Trump Stake President and LeGrand Richards called Budd as the Stake Patriarch. LeGrand Richards set him apart. Bob only lived about six weeks after that. He died four years before Budd did. So they had to put in a new Stake president. It was on a Saturday and Budd said I'm so relieved they aren't going to be asking me because I'm the patriarch. So anyway, we had planned on going into town to do some shopping and to see a show and I asked Budd if he needed to stay home and meet with the general authority who was coming and he said, I don't need to be here. I just have to worry about my calling , they don't need me. So we went shopping and had dinner and went to see the show and we didn't get out until about 10:30 that night. So it was late when we got home and the phone was ringing when we walked in and it was a stake clerk who said Marvin J Ashton has been here all day waiting for you. Budd looked at me and his heart just sunk and he said, "I know what he wants and I don't want it." So he went over there and Brother Ashton said, "you shouldn't have left home" and Budd said, "I was just put in as Patriarch and I didn't think that you would have any need of me." Brother Ashton said, "we've been waiting all day long for you." And they called him to be the Stake President.
About a year before that when he was in the stake presidency he was called to be a mission president. He got a call from Elder Tanner and he said this is very irregular, but we need a mission president really badly and we were wondering if we could have you come in and talk to us about that. Budd said, "I'll do anything you want me to and I'll go anywhere you want me to go, but first I must ask you if you have talked to my doctor?" Elder Tanner said we usually do that first and find out your whole history, but we haven't this time because it is a bit of an emergency. So he asked if something was wrong with Budd. Budd said, I just had an examination with Russell Nelson (before he was a general authority, he was Budd's doctor) and he told me that I have a blood vessel that is shutting off and so I'm having a lot of pain with it. He said as it shuts off another artery will grow in it's place, it's a minor artery and the operation was pretty dangerous, so if you could get by with out the surgery and just letting another artery take over it would be better. Elder Tanner said, "I'm really sorry, I'll talk to you doctor and call you back." He called Dr Nelson and he told Elder Tanner that Budd would probably have a heart attack before he finished serving as Mission President and it would be ok if Budd didn't leave the country. So Budd asked where they would like to send him and Elder Tanner said, Norway. That made Budd sick, because that is where he had served his mission and he would have just loved to have gone back. Elder Tanner said they would keep in touch with him. On Budd's next appointment with Dr. Nelson, a year later, Dr Nelson said "I noticed in the paper you had been made a Stake President. Do they think that a being a Mission President is more work than a Stake President would be?" Budd said, "I don't understand any of it either." Dr Nelson said "I did tell the general authorities that you would probably be alright after you had your heart attack and the other artery takes over, so they probably think you're alright to be Stake President, because it will cause you to have the heart attack, you'll be at home to heal and then you can go on with the calling.
It was just soon after that that Dr Nelson was put in as an apostle and so Budd never went to him again. Budd did have a heart attack a year after they put him in as Stake President, but the pain never did leave him. When they did operate on him, it was Dr Smart, he was world renowned just like Dr Nelson. He operated on Budd and he found the great big tumor that was as big as a basketball in him. He said we couldn't see that tumor in him, it was hidden so you couldn't even feel it. It was pressing against his heart and that was what was causing his pain. After they operated on him and removed that he didn't have that pain anymore, but he had another pain up in his shoulder. Dr Smart said this tumor was all in-cased and they removed it all and that he wouldn't even need chemotherapy, all the surrounding biopsies came back fine. They said he would be just fine. But he was in so much pain he kept going back in until they finally found it in his spine. They finally did another exploratory operation on him and that's how they found it in his spine. Dr Smart said there is no way your going to live, you have 6 months to a year. And he didn't live over two months after that. But boy did he work hard. He worked so hard to get that business to the point he could turn it over to the kids. He worked until he couldn't work another day, he was so sick and in so much pain and he would still go down and work. He wasn't in bed too long before he passed.
I just loved Dr Smart. He would call every 2-3 days to see how he was doing. He said, "you know, we could put him in the hospital and keep him freer from pain," but I said, "No, he doesn't want to do that and I don't want him to do it. He wants to die right here in his home. Although, Budd couldn't stand the vacuum going, he had the worst time with that while at home. I would try to shut all the doors so he wouldn't hear the vacuum. I gave him a bell to ring if he needed me and I couldn't hear it over the noise of the vacuum.
I could never understand how he got cancer because he lived such a clean life. He wouldn't drink pop, once in a while if I had a pop in my hand he would just take one sip of it, but he never poured himself a drink, he never would. He'd say it wasn't good for you and he would never ask for sweets, only I wound make desert on Sunday. He loved lemon pie, but he would only have one slice. I've made hundreds of lemon pies in my life time for him. Once in a while he would start going through cupboards and I knew he was looking for candy or something, sometimes he'd say I need something sweet. But that was very rare, he was so different than me, I love the candy and pop. I think he would have lived it if I could have been thin and trim, but I know he loved me I know that. We had a good life together. It's been 24 years in September. He was such a great man and after he got really sick they released him as Stake President. He had been in about 3-1/2 years.
They have made Curt the Bishop of the Young unmarried kids of their stake, it's a stake calling. They have a ward just for these unmarried kids, single adults. He's just thrilled with that. They have put him in charge, he was in the stake presidency and they released him at their last conference. I said, "what are they going to put you in now?" And he said, "Oh, probably in the nursery." He said, "I really don't care what they do with me, I don't care." So, I asked him a few weeks later and he said, "I'm just an extra in the ward if they need someone to prepare a lesson. I said, "do you like that?" and he said, "no, because you never know when they'll call and you can't do any preparations for it." Then the next thing I heard was, "they asked Sue and I to be over the young people in the ward, the single adults." Then the very next week the Bishop called him in and asked him to be the Bishop of the unmarried ward. When I was up there a week or so ago I asked him if he took care of his new ward. He said, "Oh, I'm just going to love this, I'm so glad" and everything was good.
Stella and I were good friends and after Budd died we started to travel a lot together. We have traveled a lot, we've gone all over the world. We did go on that trip around the world. It was the hardest trip and I would never advise it to anyone. We were on 23 different airlines going around the world. It was with a tour group and we spent a lot of time sitting in airports and that was the part I didn't like. Sitting and waiting to get on a plane. We were gone about 6 weeks. I'm glad that we did it and we did enjoy it, but there were times I thought it would never end. i got kind of home sick and really tired on that trip. It was a long time to go, now if I had been on a boat and doing that it wouldn't have been nearly as hard. But we hit every continent and they call that going around the world. I loved being in the different countries, I really did. But some of the countries were so poor you felt so sorry for the people. And there were a lot of beggars on the street and you just hated to pass them by. But if you handed a quarter to one in an instant you had a dozen right there. So our leader would say don't try to give them anything at all because it gets too hard. When we were in China I got lost in Tienanmen Square. I went to buy something and the group moved on and I couldn't find them. I was so scared, I've never been more frantic in my life! There wasn't anybody that could even understand me. It was an hour or two later before I got back with my group, I was lost for quite a while. In Japan, two different places that we went to we had to use the toilet that is just a hole in the floor. It was just awful, I thought this trip isn't worth this. I think things are different in Japan now because they are so modern. I would have a hard time with that now. It was really wonderful to go, really it was. But I loved Europe the best after seeing all the other. Europe was more like home and I just loved it. Every country there that we went to we would look at each other and say, we could stay here for a month or two. It was so beautiful and so much greenery and all the castles, but I did get sick of going through castles. They are so proud of their heritage. We had some really good times.
I didn't think that I would get this crippled. I think I might live to be more crippled and that's the thing I'm afraid of. My patriarchal blessing says I'll live to an old age. Budd always new that that would be true and before we were married he said that he knew he wouldn't live to be old. He said his patriarchal blessing was already finished. So here I am left with it and life isn't fun alone. I knew I would never marry again. I could not love anyone like I loved Budd. Even to have to take care of someone, I wouldn't want that. If I hadn't have had enough money to live on I think I would have had to look at it. I think a lot of women marry again because they need the support. I was also in the situation that I had girlfriends, that I made during the war, we were close then because our husbands were gone and I'm still with the same girls. It's wonderful because there husbands are gone now too. Melba Lynch is one of my closest friends, we go to the temple together. We do a lot of things together. She's in my club. Her husband is a cousin to Budd and he died just four years after Budd did, she's just real dear to me I just love her. I've just had enough girlfriends and their support to keep me going. At this stage o f life I can only do one thing a week, if I do more I'm too tired to do anything else. Isn't that awful. I can go out and be with these friends and the minute I get home I just have to lie down. It's all that I can handle.
There is some satisfaction in aging. Sometimes it's good to be able to say, "oh, good I'm to old to do that." And I enjoy all of the little grand babies, they are so darling. What tickles me about them is that they are so afraid of me and that little Olivia Tingey is so happy with me only if she is in her mothers lap. I appreciate everyone when they bring their kids over to see me, I just don't get to get out and see my grand babies.
Grandma's week when we recorded this went something like this: Monday's were her day off and we would work on pictures or her history and it was also her visiting teaching day. Tuesdays are the day she goes to the temple with her lady friends. Wednesday is religion class. Thursday is club night. Friday is lunch, hair and shopping with Stella Trump.
